I’ve been busying myself into purpose
I have a confession to make.
In the last six to nine months, I’ve managed to fill my days with so many good things that I’ve stopped doing some of the things that matter most to me.
I used to begin my mornings with coffee, Scripture, prayer, and a few pages of writing. I walked nearly every day. Those quiet hours gave me room to think, to listen, and to recognize God’s presence in the ordinary moments of my life.
Lately, I’ve been waking up and going straight to work.
I know, I know… the irony isn’t lost on me. I’ve spent years encouraging women to make room for what matters, and somehow, I’ve crowded those very things out of my own life.
I’ve been asking God, “What now?” as I try to work my way back to a routine that felt healthy and creative. I was starting to think He was ignoring me, but I’m beginning to wonder whether I’ve just been too busy to hear His answer.
As I sat down to write this, I recognized a familiar pattern unfolding. Throughout my life, some of the things I’ve loved to do the most have eventually become the tasks that fill nearly every available hour. I’ve turned passions into businesses, ideas into projects, and opportunities to help others into commitments that stretch far beyond what I originally intended.
It happens gradually. Someone asks for help, and I know I have something to offer that could make their work a little easier. An opportunity to collaborate comes along, and I find myself excited about what we might create together. A new client brings me a project that stretches me creatively, and I can already imagine the possibilities. I genuinely enjoy the work and the people I get to do it with, so saying yes comes naturally. Before long, I’ve rearranged my schedule, taken on another project, and convinced myself there’s room for just one more thing in an already full week.
The truth is that I genuinely enjoy the work I do and the people I get to do it with. I love watching someone find the courage to share their story, or recognize possible career paths they hadn’t considered before. Those moments remind me why I began, and I still believe God has given me gifts and experiences I can use to encourage others.
I’ve also noticed how quickly I give away time I’ve already committed to something else. I have a hard time telling someone that my schedule is full or that I simply have other plans. When I see someone struggling and know I can help, I find it difficult to step aside and let them figure things out on their own. I want to protect people from disappointment, frustration, or the possibility that someone might take advantage of them.
I’ve spent much of my life believing that if something matters, I should be willing to give it everything I’ve got. Lately, I’ve started to wonder whether I’ve confused giving my best with giving all of myself. If I look a little deeper, I also recognize the times in my life when I felt like I disappointed people. It doesn’t matter whether their expectations were reasonable or even mine to carry… somewhere along the way, I began to believe that if I worked hard enough, I could finally prove I was capable.
I don’t think I paid attention to how much that influences my decisions, until now. I genuinely want to serve others, and I find great joy in using the gifts God has given me. But I can also see how easily my desire to help becomes tangled up with my desire to prove something.
The funny thing is, I’ve never felt the need to earn God’s approval. I have always felt His love, and I believe He’s pleased with the woman I’ve grown up to be. Somehow, I’ve allowed the expectations of other people (and sometimes my own) to influence how I spend the time He’s given me.
As I work through all of this, I keep returning to a passage from Psalm 25: “Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.” — Psalm 25:4–5 (ESV)
I love David’s prayer because I recognize my own desire in his words. I want God to show me His ways, teach me His paths, and lead me in His truth. I want to recognize His invitations and respond faithfully when He places opportunities in front of me.
I believe He continues to give me things to say, and often, inspiration comes through the ordinary moments in my life. It might be a conversation with someone I hadn’t expected to meet, a passage of Scripture that catches my attention, or a moment that reminds me of His goodness, and it stays with me until I finally sit down and write about it.
Those are some of my favorite moments. I love recognizing God’s presence in every day, and I love finding words that might help someone else recognize Him, too. I hope to keep writing, sharing stories, and encouraging women for a long time.
But when I reach the end of David’s prayer, I have to admit that I struggle with his final words… “For you I wait all the day long.”
Waiting has never come easily for me. I like to know where I’m going and what I need to do to get there. When I have a goal, I make a plan. When I see a need, I look for a way to meet it. And when I’m uncertain about what comes next, I tend to fill the space with something productive.
I wonder whether I’ve been so determined to discover what God wants me to do that I’ve filled my days trying to prove I’m capable of whatever He sends my way.
I’ve busied myself into purpose, and the realization suddenly makes me uncomfortable because I know how much goodness already fills my days. I love my family, the opportunities to travel, the people I meet, and the work I get to do. I have so much to be grateful for, yet I keep questioning whether God wants something more.
Sometimes I worry that I’ve missed an invitation or overlooked an opportunity. I wonder whether I should be doing something bigger, reaching more people, or using His gifts in a better way.
Then I think about the ordinary moments when I feel closest to Him. They rarely happen when I’m rushing to finish a project or checking another task off my list. I usually connect during a quiet morning, a walk outside, or an unexpected conversation with someone who needed a little encouragement.
Those times remind me why I began writing in the first place. I wanted to share the ways God works in our everyday lives and encourage women to recognize His love and presence in their own stories. Somewhere along the way, I let the work surrounding that message crowd out the practices that helped me recognize it.
For years, I encouraged women to make small, sustainable changes. I talked about the importance of creating space for what matters and building habits that support the lives we want to live. I still believe those things, and I know from experience how much difference a few intentional minutes can make. Yet here I am, confessing that I’ve stopped doing many of the things I’ve spent years encouraging other women to do.
I miss my quiet mornings with God. I miss opening my Bible and allowing a passage to linger in my thoughts. I miss writing morning pages without worrying whether the words will become something worth sharing. I miss walking simply because I enjoy being outside and having time to pray.
So, this morning, I began again. I made my coffee, opened my Bible, and spent some time writing. I slipped outside just as light began to appear over the water. I know one morning won’t change every habit I’ve developed over the past six months, but it felt good to begin again.
I have work I love and projects I’m excited about. I’m grateful that God continues to give me opportunities to use my gifts, and I want to become more thoughtful about the commitments I make. I can care deeply about someone without taking responsibility for every challenge they face, and I can trust that God will continue working in their lives even when I’m not the person helping them.
Learning to wait will require me to become more comfortable leaving some space in my days. I don’t know exactly what that will look like yet, and I suspect I’ll have to practice saying no to some good things along the way.
As I return to Psalm 25, I realize how much I want to pray David’s words with the same willingness to be taught.
Show me your ways, Lord. Teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth.
And when I reach the part about waiting, I want to mean that, too.
I’ve spent a lot of time asking God what comes next. Maybe I need to spend a little more time listening before I begin making plans. This morning seemed like a good place to start.
I’d love to know whether you’ve ever found yourself so busy doing good things that you’ve lost sight of what matters most. Have you discovered a way to make room for them again? I hope you’ll share your experience, because I have a feeling I’m not the only one learning how to wait.
As I begin making room for the things that matter most, I’m remembering how much joy I find in the ordinary moments of my life. I hope you’ll find a little of that joy in yours today, too.
Be Happy 🧡