Finding the woman you’re meant to be
in spaces you’re hesitant to enter
Have you ever talked yourself out of an opportunity before you even gave it a chance?
Maybe you considered joining a group, attending an event, taking a class, or trying something you’ve never done before. But as you thought about the people who might be there, you began wondering whether you’d fit in. Perhaps you worried that everyone would be younger, more experienced, or further along than you.
Before long, you’d convinced yourself that the opportunity probably wasn’t meant for someone like you. I know how easily that can happen because I caught myself doing exactly that last week.
I was traveling to the Brave Conference with a longtime friend. Deb is someone I’ve known for years but hadn’t spent much time with over the last eighteen. I was looking forward to reconnecting with her and spending two days surrounded by women who shared my faith.
Still, as the conference approached, I found myself wondering whether I’d aged out of the community I was about to join. I’d been paying attention to the introductions in the conference’s private group and noticed that many of the women seemed to be in a different season of life than I am. I began to wonder whether I would find women asking the same kinds of questions I am, because the ones spinning in my head right now are very different from the ones I asked twenty years ago.
Despite my hesitation, I expected to hear from women gifted at teaching and preaching Scripture, and I looked forward to it. I love studying the Bible and I appreciate the opportunity to sit and listen to someone who can bring Scripture to life in a way that challenges my thinking and deepens my understanding. There’s something wonderful about stepping away from everyday responsibilities and letting a gifted speaker fill you up.
I’m in awe of those who can captivate an audience because I’ve come to recognize that my own gifts show up differently. I’m a coach by creation; someone who naturally wants to listen, ask questions, and help others see possibilities they may have overlooked. I love telling stories and encouraging women to recognize the ways God has been working in their lives and the invitations He may be placing in front of them. I don't want to preach, but I do want to use my voice and experiences to help women grow in their faith, discover their gifts, and find the courage to respond to whatever God may be asking of them.
I hoped to connect with women who have spent decades raising families, building careers, caring for others, and doing what life required. I know other women are wondering what comes next and whether God might have something new for them to explore… I just had to find them!
As I look back, I recognize that I was making assumptions about where I belonged before I’d even arrived.
The conference was two days of worship, preaching, reflection, and prayer. The music was loud enough to fill your whole body, and the messages were remarkably relevant. I felt fully immersed in the experience, grateful for the chance to listen, learn, and spend time with God.
I also treasured the time I spent with my friend that weekend. We’d shared an earlier chapter of life, and reconnecting after so many years reminded me how meaningful those friendships remain, even when life takes us in different directions. As we talked, she reminded me that I have a gift for telling stories and encouraged me to consider speaking. It’s something I’ve thought about but haven’t seriously pursued, mostly because I’m too busy to even get my weekly posts done on time! Her words stayed with me, especially because I’d arrived wondering where I fit among women who seemed so comfortable preaching and teaching from a stage. Maybe there was room for someone who simply wanted to share stories and encourage others through the experiences God had given her.
A day later, we were in a small group breakout session with another woman who shared a situation she was navigating at work. As we talked, she noticed that I was looking beyond her immediate circumstances and helping her consider what might be possible. She suggested that I explore spiritual direction.
Neither woman knew I’d been questioning my place in the community. They didn’t know I’d been wondering whether my experiences and interests would resonate with the women around me, yet each recognized something in me that I hadn’t been giving much attention. I came home with two possibilities to consider and a renewed appreciation for how God can use ordinary conversations to draw our attention to something worth exploring.
I don’t know whether I’ll pursue speaking more intentionally or explore spiritual direction, but both deserve prayer and consideration. I do know I almost let my assumptions about the room keep me from recognizing what God might have for me there.
I wonder whether you’ve experienced something similar, especially if you’re navigating a season of life that looks different from the one you’ve known for years.
For most of my adult life, I knew where I belonged. Between raising two boys, running businesses, caring for my family, and serving in my church and community, my days were full of responsibilities I enjoyed and people who counted on me. As my boys grew up and began building lives of their own, my husband and I sold our businesses and looked forward to the freedom to travel, spend more time together, and enjoy a slower pace of life. But when that freedom finally arrived, I discovered that after decades of knowing exactly what needed my attention, I wasn’t entirely sure what to do next. For the first time in a long time, I found myself asking questions I hadn’t expected.
What did I enjoy? What was I good at? Did I still have something meaningful to contribute? And where did God want me to go from here?
Perhaps you’ve asked some of those questions, too.
You may have spent years knowing exactly what your role was in your family, workplace, or community. Now your circumstances have changed, and you’re trying to understand where you fit. You might have interests you’ve never pursued, gifts you’ve stopped using, or ideas you dismiss before giving them much consideration.
It’s easy to assume that certain opportunities belong to younger women, women with more education, or women who seem to have a clearer sense of direction.
But how often do those assumptions keep us from discovering something worthwhile?
Isaiah 43:1 reminds God’s people that He has called them by name and that they belong to Him. Those words were originally spoken to Israel, assuring them of God’s faithfulness and His relationship with them during a difficult season.
Isn’t it amazing when we find comfort in a passage that simply reveals God’s character? He knows His people, remains faithful to them, and doesn’t lose sight of them when their circumstances change.
Our lives change, too. The responsibilities that once filled our days may become memories. The roles that helped shape our identity may no longer require the same attention. We may enter unfamiliar rooms and wonder whether we have anything meaningful to contribute. Through those changes, our relationship with God remains a place of reassurance and direction.
I’ve prayed for a long time for God to open my heart and mind to the beauty around me and the invitations He’s placed in each day. I ask Him to help me recognize those moments and give me the courage to respond faithfully.
I thought about that prayer after the conference. I’d been so busy wondering whether I belonged that I could easily have overlooked the encouragement waiting for me. Instead, I got to reconnect with a friend, worship alongside hundreds of women in different seasons of life, and receive unexpected suggestions that gave me something new to consider.
I believe God can use moments like these to help us recognize gifts, reconsider assumptions, and become curious about possibilities we haven’t explored.
Imagine what we might discover about ourselves if we approached other unfamiliar opportunities with that same curiosity.
I’ve been working on a book about the questions women often begin asking in the second half of life. I’ve been playing with titles… I originally named the project Called Forward, wanting to encourage women who had discovered their calling to act on it. More recently, my writing has leaned toward noticing the everyday nudges we might miss as we strive to fulfill our calling. The book is gaining more of a What Now, God? sort of feel
The woman I’m writing for has spent years doing meaningful work and caring for people she loves. She has experiences, abilities, and wisdom that have developed over her life, but she may not recognize how valuable they still are. She’s grateful for her life, but she feels incomplete and wonders what comes next.
She might have a dream she never pursued or, through the rhythm of responsibilities, lost sight of what really interests her. She misses the relationships and routines that once gave her days structure, and she often wonders whether she’s too old to begin something new. Sadly, she may begin to question whether anyone needs what she has to offer.
If you recognize yourself in the last few sentences, I hope you’ll stay for the conversations beginning here.
I want Undeniable Joy to be a place where we can talk about the changes we’re experiencing, remember the gifts we’ve developed, and consider how God might be inviting us to use them. I want us to explore Scripture, share stories, ask honest questions, and encourage one another to take steps toward possibilities we might otherwise dismiss.
I’ll be sharing longer reflections here on Tuesdays, with questions and encouragement throughout the week. On Fridays, I’ll offer a small invitation to put something we’ve been considering into practice.
This week, I’d love for you to think about an opportunity you’ve dismissed because you assumed you wouldn’t fit in. Maybe it’s a group you’d like to join, a conversation you’d like to begin, a class you’ve considered taking, or something you’ve wanted to try for years.
What made you decide it wasn’t for you? And what might happen if you reconsidered?
You don’t have to commit today. You can begin by being curious, asking a question, or talking with someone who knows you well. You might discover the opportunity isn’t right for you, or you might find a place where your experiences, interests, and gifts are welcome.
I went to the Brave Conference wondering whether I’d outlived the room I was about to enter. I came home grateful I’d gone and reminded that I still have things to learn, gifts to develop, and opportunities worth considering.
Is there a room you’ve been hesitant to enter? If so, I hope you’ll give yourself the chance to discover what might be waiting for you there.
I’d love to hear from you: Have you ever found encouragement or a new opportunity somewhere you weren’t sure you’d belong? What helped you find the courage to enter?
Have a joy-filled week and be happy. 🧡